White Beginnings
by Liesel.Hellen
Summary: How can you escape from your past if it haunts you in your dreams? What should you do if a particular day haunts you on the same date every year?


**White Beginnings**

The streets were white, coated with soft, pure snow. The street lamps gave a dim warm glow against its chilling surroundings, providing little comfort to the people shivering in the blatant cold. Protesting children were hurried by their anxious mothers to return to the hearth of their homes while the adults rubbed their hands and pulled their coats closer together, not sparing any warmth escaping.

Despite the coldness, the atmosphere was light and blithe and the people laughed and joked, occasionally kicking at the snow blanket, watching it turn to fine powder which crumpled down. A snowman gazed at the foot prints left behind.

Soon the streets were quiet once more, before being interrupted by neighing of carriage horses.

"There's a letter requesting for the Earl Phantomhive to attend a Christmas party, this Saturday. Would you be attending, my lord?" Asked the tall guy in a tailcoat suit, his voice polite and his face calm.

"You do know that I hate social functions, Sebastian." Answered his companion, his face not hiding the irritation he felt.

"Well, well. How unsociable, _Earl Phantomhive_?" Sebastian replied mockingly, empathizing on the last two words.

The head of the Phantomhive household was a young boy, Ciel Phantomhive who took over the household after the demise of his parents. Left alone in the harsh world, he quickly learnt to adapt cruelty of this dark world, monopolizing the toy industry. Sebastian, his butler,

"Social functions are of no use except for lonely people to gather and to moan of their incapability," Ciel smiled, a cold smile, "Sebastian."

'As you wish, my lord. How disappointing it would be for the children."

That got Ciel's ears pricked. Children? Children at a Christmas party?

"Elaborate."

"Ah, interested now, aren't you?" Sebastian smirked, his fingers gently adjusting the top of the Earl's hat. "As a thank you gift to the Earl for his presents to the orphanage, the chairman decided to have a Christmas party to show their gratitude."

Ciel sat in silence, glancing out of the window, his arm resting on the ledge. Sebastian's eyes twinkled in laughter at the Earl's dilemma.

Before long, the Phantomhive mansion could be seen at a distance as they gradually approached the majestic building.

Sebastian got down the carriage first, and offered his hand as Ciel's support as Ciel stepped out of the carriage. Ciel took the offer, his annoyance apparent as his boots sank into the soft snow.

Next time, he will get the servants to lay a carpet for him whenever he alight a carriage.

Sebastian pushed opened the heavy mansion door with little effort. Ciel stride in, while his butler took off his coat and hat before hanging them up.

"How was your trip, Sir?" Three servants hurried down and greeted their master.

"It was alright. The earl is feeling a little tired down, so please excuse us." Sebastian replied, his hand gesturing towards the stairs. Ignoring Sebastian, Ciel headed up towards his study room.

The door clicked shut as Ciel leaned back on the door, a sigh escaping from his lips.

"Christmas."

He closed his eyes. It was that hated day again. It haunted him from memories he can never escape from. Even if he can close his eyes, it still pursue him in the darkness, trapping him in its claws, torturing him with unpleasant memories.

His right hand clutched his face. That wicked day that tore his life apart. Pitting itself with him.

* * *

"Please don't! I'll do whatever you want, please don't!" A young boy screamed, his face stricken with fear, tears fumbling down his cheeks.

"Poor child, you're feeling terrible aren't you? However, only by removing bad kids, will Santa give us _the present_." A masked man consoled, patting the boy through steel bars. "Bad kids shouldn't exist." His hand tightened with each word, pulling roughly at the boy's hair.

A shrill scream reverberated out from the little boy as his tiny hands tore at that of the large coarse hands. However, the more he struggled, the more malicious those hands implanted itself at his agony. He kicked, legs stamping at the steel bars, his hand making ripples on the white robes of the man, digging in hard.

But the man was oblivious to his pain and behind the mask, a smile was ignited. Try, try as hard as you want but you are but a mere kid.

A bad kid.

Suddenly, he pushed the boy's head, sending him tumbling behind. Another two masked man appeared, dragging a blonde curled hair girl with them. Jade green eyes met the boy's azure eyes, the girl's eyes pleading for salvation. Her torn and tattered dress was stained red, the blood trickling down her wrist, seeping onto the cemented floor.

"You know what happens to bad kid don't you?" The boy shut his eyes, his hands covering his ears. A blood curdling scream was heard and the sound of metal clunking on the ground added to the effect.

* * *

"You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not do anything bad. Cause Santa Claus is coming to town."

* * *

"My lord, are you alright?" A knock interrupted Ciel's thought as he staggered towards his desk.

The door opened as Sebastian entered, carrying a teapot and teacup, with the strong fragrance of red tea. Sebastian narrowed his eyes at the Earl, whose face had been drained of blood and his breath shallow and fast. With never failing elegance, he poured the tea into the delicate teacup before serving it to the Earl.

Acknowledge Sebastian's effort with a nod of his head, Ciel took the teacup by its handle and gave the liquid a slight blow before sipping it.

"About that, Sebastian."

Sebastian, who was arranging the papers on the desk, continued his task without a pause.

"About that?"

"When you said you would follow my commands and orders, did you mean it?" Ciel pressed his hands on the papers, halting Sebastian's progress.

Sebastian lifted his head and made eye contact with the Earl, his eyebrows raised.

"Did I ever defy your orders?"

Ciel stood up and turned to the window, gazing at the night veil. "If I asked you to kill me now, would you?"

"Are you ready to give up your soul now?" Sebastian slid next to him, his fingers lifting Ciel's chin, his mouth twitched in a Cheshire smile. His red eyes glowed in the dark room, boring down on the Phantomhive Earl's crystal eyes, seemingly penetrating his soul. If looks could kill, Ciel would be dead by now.

Ciel broke away from the eye contact, slapping away the butler's hand.

"My lord, you are feverish. Please retire for the day." Sebastian remarked, ushering him towards the door.

"I'm well enough," Ciel retorted, pushing Sebastian aside. "Now get -"

Knees gave way, as Ciel collapsed on the ground, his breath coming out in short pants.

"My lord!" Kneeling down, Sebastian touched his forehead, "His condition has escalated faster than I thought."

He carried Ciel up, moving with light steps to the Lord's sleeping room, ensuring that as little disturbance was caused to the Lord as possible. Placing Ciel gently down, he laid out the bed.

"Bard! Please bring a towel and a small tub of cold water too!" Sebastian called out the chef, measuring Ciel's temperature with a thermometer.

"Trust you to put on a brave front." Sebastian chuckled, placing a blanket over the boy.

"Here you are Sebastian! Here are the things you asked for!" Bard came bursting through the door. "What? Is the Lord sick?"

"A little fever, and at this time of the year."

"That's terrible! What should we do? Sebastian?" Meirin appeared from thin air, horrified at the thought of the Earl being sick.

"He wouldn't die, would he, Sebastian?" Finny was another one panicking.

"Calm down, he wouldn't die." Sebastian tried to compose the two servants.

"Not yet anyway." He added in a whisper.

Sebastian shooed off the 3 servants and went back to tending his sick master, wetting the towel then putting it on his master's forehead. He wiped off the sweat from Ciel's forehead with a handkerchief and used his hands as a gauge for the Earl's temperature.

Still the same. The butler flexed his arms before setting off in the direction of the door.

"No, don't." A small whimper stopped Sebastian in his track.

Thinking that the Earl wanted his company he headed back to the Earl's side.

"No, no." The whimpering continued.

That's strange, the butler thought, the lord never shows his weak side, he's too prideful to be pleading.

"My lord, is there something the matter?" Concerned, the butler prompted, aware that something was amiss.

"No…don't…NO! Somebody! Stop IT!" Ciel struggled vigorously, kicking and punching at some invisible enemy. He shouted and screamed, clutching his face and shrunk into a tight ball, winching as if he was being injured. Yet, he was detached from reality, oblivious to Sebastian's shakings.

"Somebody, God help me!"

God? Sebastian was jolted by the word. He is reminded of that day. Now, the picture is clearer.

The butler sighed. Time has not healed his wound.

"Sebastian…."

"Yes, my lord."

"Stay….by my….side." A plea. Not an order.

The butler smiled. I'll be by your side, till the very end.

* * *

"Sebastian? Why are you here?" The boy mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Because you request for me to be by your side, my lord." Sebastian answered simply, taking away the towel on his master's forehead, ignoring the puzzled and frustrated look of the boy.

"You're fever has gone down, but before you recover completely, please refrain from strenuous activities and that includes the party. Therefore, I would be sending a letter to reject the invitation."

"No."

"Don't you hate social functions? You should be glad."

The Earl didn't answer.

A smile formed on Sebastian's lips. He knew the reason but he wasn't about to let the Earl do as he wished.

His contract had stated that he had to keep his master alive until revenged was obtained and it would be the laughing stock of the underworld if other immortals knew that he lost the Earl due to a mere virus. Especially that Shinigami William. He abhorred great hatred for Sebastian for god knows what reasons.

"If you are a good boy and if you stay in bed until your illness is gone, you can have fun at the party."

"Sebastian!"

The winter wind blew at the window, silently banging at the glass panes.

They, master and butler, stood, holding each other's gaze.

"Call me a 'boy' once more and you shall regret it." No venom was spared in Ciel Phantomhive's tone.

To be honest, Sebastian see no reason what harm the Earl can do to him. After all, he was one hell of a butler/ he is a demon and a butler. Humans are so naïve. Proud creatures they are.

"We'll have breakfast in bed later, so will the Earl please wait patiently till your meal is served."

Ciel slumped his shoulders.

Sebastian.

* * *

"It seems to be very cold now."

"For hundredth time, I'm ok!" Ciel grumbled. Honestly, they are treating him as if he was a fragile old man with jelly for bones.

The three servants were acting nonchalant about it but they were very anxious for their master's health and tried to discourage him from going through methods that range from 'accidentally' pouring tea on Ciel's coat to 'accidentally' scattering his documents.

"I'm setting off now, and don't attempt to sabotage the carriage."

The three servants sighed. That was what they were about to do.

Sebastian placed a hand on Meirin's shoulder. "Please at least take good care of the house. That can greatly lift a burden off the Earl's mind."

That said, the butler followed The Phantomhive Ciel out of the mansion, leaving a red-faced Meirin blushing at the physical contact.

* * *

In the carriage, Ciel rested his head on his hands, the tired look apparent on his face.

Sebastian looked at the Earl thoughtfully.

Tonight, things would be _interesting._

_

* * *

_

"My lord, please mind your steps."

"Hmph," Ciel rolled his eyes.

"Ciel!" A girl's voice called out suddenly, startling the Earl. "There you are!"

A blonde haired girl came running towards him, her curly hair swaying. Her pink dress, with lines of contrasting black and white, was slowing her down, nevertheless, her enthusiasm was not wavered as she hugged Ciel with affection.

"The dress!" Ciel was shocked, extremely shocked.

"Isn't it cute? Sebastian has specially ordered for me after I told him about the beautiful pink dress at the ball!"

"What?" Ciel immediately focused his attention towards Sebastian. "Sebastian….you…."

Sebastian bowed. "It is only right for the fiancée of the Phantomhive Earl to be present."

Turning to the girl, Sebastian continued. "Lady Elizabeth, I'm sure the Earl loves it. This dress is beautiful enough to attract the attention of other nobilities _like the Viscount_."

"Really?" Elizabeth squealed, delighted at the thought that such a splendid dress was in her possession.

"Sebastian, how dare you…."

"Is there a problem, my lord? Isn't such a magnificent dress befitting of a lady of noble birth?" Sebastian tried to hide his smile. If only he had brought a camera with him. The lord's face was priceless.

Ciel had wanted to retort, but he was helplessly dragged away his fiancée who had wanted to show him around.

"Looks like the fun has started."

* * *

"What on Earth is that Sebastian thinking of…" A half dead Ciel grumbled, unhappy that he had to be tortured by his fiancée.

"Ciel! Ciel, look!" Elizabeth tugged at Ciel's sleeves. "The presents! Look how many there are! Remember when we were young, your parents would always —"

"That's enough." Ciel pulled his hand away from Elizabeth. "It's a fact that they are dead. 'When we were young'…that's past tense. I'm not longer interested in the past. I only have the future to live in."

"Ciel…" Tears were swelling up in the girl's eyes. Once again, she had failed to think before she speaks. Now, she had hurt Ciel, again.

"I'm going to see the chairman. Please entertain yourself while I am away."

The Earl walked off, aware that he had left a very heart broken Elizabeth sobbing behind.

* * *

"Chairman, I've come." Ciel entered the room

"Yes, the children are very happy that you are coming today. It's been a long time since anyone visits the orphanage, especially someone of such tender age." Chairman replied, a wide smile lighting up his aged face.

"I'm honoured." Ciel bowed.

"Please don't be so formal with me. Enjoy yourself today with the children! Immerse yourself in the Christmas spirit." The chairman patted the Earl's head.

Ciel flinched at the contact. Normally, he would have slap away the hand, but today is different. He had to be little more gracious.

The chairman led Ciel to the living room, where Sebastian was seen surrounded by many children. They shot never ending questions at the butler who had patiently answered them all.

"Se-bas-sh, I want to be as tall as you when I grow up!" A boy exclaimed, one of his hand outstretched as if measuring his dream height while his other hand was clutching Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian chuckled and patted the boy's head, "I'm sure you will."

A small girl of about 4years came up to him and tugged at his pants to gain his attention. "Se-bas-sh! When I grow up, I want to marry you!"

Sebastian carried her up, "Really? I am not worthy of such kind words."

"No! I definitely love Se-bas-sh!" The girl hugged Sebastian, radiance glowing on her face.

Ciel scowled. Somehow his butler had more charisma than the Earl. Sebastian put the girl down before bowing at the arrival at his master.

"Children, this is the Phantomhive Earl, Ciel Phantomhive. He has donated generously and provided you much." The chairman announced.

The children stared at Ciel, making him a little uncomfortable.

"Smile, my lord, smile!" Sebastian mouthed. "You are scaring the children with your sour face!"

Unwillingly, Ciel flashed a wide smile at the children. Still suspicious, the children shrank back to Sebastian, who is glaring at Ciel too.

"Erm, Merry Christmas?" Ciel attempted. His failure could be spelled clearly.

"Err, I've brought some presents for you, so…Sebastian!" Ciel fumbled, tongue-tied.

"Yes my lord, here they are."

When had he brought all the items out?

The children slowly took a step forwards before being slightly bolder and each took a small gift box. Ciel eyed him, a little doubtful, a little nervous, even if he would not like to admit the latter. He could see that the children were happy with this little gift.

"Kids," he scoffed mentally, so easily satisfied, how pathetic.

He caught the gaze of Sebastian who smiled at him.

Just like the time when I summoned him, Ciel thought with disgust, suddenly appalled at his past self.

Suddenly, he felt someone hug him.

"Thank you, big brother!" A girl hugged him, beaming brightly at him.

Not knowing how to react, Ciel just rub his temple with his left hand. "Well, you're welcome…."

"M-merry Ch-hristmas…..Ciel." Elizabeth stammered, uncertain if Ciel would flare up again.

Ciel looked at her for a moment, wondering if he should reciprocate the festive greeting.

"Merry Christmas," Ciel replied.

Maybe Christmas…is a new beginning.

_END_

**Author's note**

**I wrote this last year while being stuck in a place with no internet connection.**

**Before someone ask me why Sebastian told Ciel to be a 'good boy', I would like to say that Sebastian was teasing him and trying to spite him to put up a brave front and face up his fears. All to nurture a good soul ^^ It worked, alright? As seen from the ending  
**

**Just some flashback on Ciel's past and how if he does not overcome them, he will end up being burdened by it.**

**Thanks for reading this and thank you for your review. Same goes to readers who read and review my previous works.**


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